“What do you want?”
~JESUS, John 1:38
JESUS’ first words in the Gospel of John pierce my soul to the very core. They expose what I live for, expose my true priorities and passions.
By examining my answer to this question, I can pinpoint exactly what I’m living for. Why? Because I believe that JESUS changes and shapes us through our answer to this question. Put differently, I believe that GOD changes us and then we can see the results of our minds being renewed through our answer to this question.
The ESV translation puts it like this: “What are you seeking?” If a genie came to me today and offered to grant me ONE– just one– wish, what would I choose?
As I look back on the last 3 years of high school, I have to admit that my answers would be very different depending upon the month and even the day. Fall of 9th grade? To go to State in volleyball. Winter and spring of 9th grade? To have my entire life work out according to my own plan. Fast forward to spring of sophomore year. What would I want then? To get recruited be West Point. Junior year? To become verbally committed to the Naval Academy.
I am so ashamed to reflect on all this and realize where my heart was. Looking back, I realize that I was not sold out for GOD. I may have thought that I had this insurmountable faith that could move mountains. But I didn’t. I still don’t.
Throughout my life, I have continually realized that my faith seems so strong at the time, that I understand so fully how beautiful it is to be in relationship with GOD, until HE brings me a step further in my commitment. Then, my level of prior commitment to HIM looks so naive, so lacking. It’s as if, every day, I am awakened more and more to HIM and who HE really is– and I will NEVER cease to be amazed by what HE shows me.
I do look back at my life and notice interims where I experienced moments of complete trust in HIM. The first of those was in Salem, Oregon, when I surrendered volleyball and my future to HIM, that HE might use my entire life to do SOLELY HIS purposes. Moments like that encourage me. And they are where I am the most joyful.
In a way, my answer to “What do you want? What are you seeking?” is my life story. It’s the story of how GOD is continually fulfilling Psalm 37:4 in my life.
It’s my calling, “where [my] deepest passions meet the world’s deepest needs.” That’s why, today, my answer is this, word-for-word as I have written in my journal: “I want to see every prostitute set free, both spiritually, emotionally, and physically. And I already know that my wish will come true. I BELIEVE.“
“All I want in this life is more of YOU.”
Do you want to know what’s stunning about JESUS’ first words, “What do you want?”
They are immediately followed by an answer that HE gives for the apostles:
“Come and see.”
“Come and see” what you want, dear friends! “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters, and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk, without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy (Isaiah 55:1-2)?”
For HE has promised us that if we draw near to HIM and “delight [ourselves] in [HIM],” “HE will give [us] the secret desires of [our] heart[s] (Psalm 37:4).” In other words, HE will match our desires with HIS
My prayer today is that GOD will make my answer to “What do you want?” parallel to HIS answer “COME AND SEE.” ❤ Every day of my life.
May the cry of my heart be to BRING YOU PRAISE!!!!!