Today is one of those days that I walk around in a daze thinking about just about anything and everything you could imagine while simultaneously pondering absolutely nothing. Yes, that made no sense. Welcome to the world of an INTJ brain. Days like this refresh me by catapulting me away from daily worries like homework and getting the “W” next weekend to seal us as the #5 seed in the NSIC conference tournament. They throw me into a world in which I’m not a college volleyball player or a student-athlete (that’s classic NCAA lingo for you) and rather just an average 18-year-old woman whose life revolves around something other than a constant, unrelenting pursuit of excellence in one transitory area of this futile life.
Okay, not to say that I don’t love my life here. Don’t think for a second that I would ever trade the privileges I have for just about anything (although ending sex trafficking might be worth it), but days like this give me the opportunity to breathe in what it means to have a blissful life which possesses more than one axis of rotation.
Sometimes, these days occur on the day of a huge exam or a match we HAVE to win (although, to be real here, we HAVE to win every match). When that happens, these days pile on the stress because I can’t let my brain loose from the electrical fence-bound pasture of school and volleyball. I see a sunset just beyond the sizzling wire, but running through it would mean leaving behind grass that needs grazing in order to grow.
And my job is to graze that grass. It’s what I’m called to in this era of my life, so I have to ignore the beauty and chew on.
But today is Sunday. Sundays equal no volleyball and only as much homework as I need to do in order to feel “set” for the week. Considering I had 22 hours of bus rides in the last week to crank out pesky homework, today was the perfect day to notice the sunset and frolic through the fields beyond my fenced-in pasture.
Well, if it shows the state my brain is in right now, my structured life was not what this blog was supposed to be about when I started. But, on days like today, why not take the random path that my neurons provide me with?